- A recent survey found on average, people rated their partners at 80%.
- The survey considered how partners relate to each other and measure up to common expectations such as engaging with loved ones, listening attentively, and keeping the spark alive in the relationship.
- Partners scored the worst at spontaneity (75%).
What would your relationship’s report card look like? New data suggests that many American couples might have major room for improvement.
According to Bustle, a recent survey by adult toy retailer EdenFantasys asked 2,000 American adults to grade their partner on various attributes. The survey found that, on average, people rated their partners at 80%. That’s scraping the lower threshold of a B-.
Why aren’t American couples earning top marks? It turns out that participants reported being dissatisfied with some pretty important relationship elements.
The survey considered how partners relate to each other and measure up to common expectations such as engaging with loved ones, listening attentively, and keeping the spark alive in the relationship.
People don’t think their partners listen, are spontaneous enough, or make an effort with their friends
Respondents rated their happiness with their partners’ listening skills, patience, and romantic gestures at 78% or a C+.
Partners scored the worst at spontaneity (75%) and making an effort with friends (76%). People were most satisfied – though not still not thrilled – with their partners’ taste in films and TV, fashion sense, and effort with family or parents (80%).
The survey revealed a sizable gap between what Americans want in their relationships and what they’re actually getting. Not a single category earned an A.
It’s possible that choosing a partner based on what you believe is desirable in a mate, rather than what you actually find appealing in a person, could lead you into a relationship that falls short of stellar.
“Women are told by parents, society, their own negative self-talk, etc., that they must fit some mold rather than lead with their own preferences,” life coach and relationship expert Diana Mitchem told Bustle in response to the survey results.
Of course, a relationship is a team sport. Though the survey participants were able to identify aspects of their partner’s behavior or personality that they wished aligned more closely with their needs, fixing the problems in a relationship requires effort from both parties.
“Successful relationships, like all good things in life, require hard work and effort,” counselor and author of the site The Popular Man Jonathan Bennett told INSIDER. “If you know you’re not meeting your partner’s needs and can’t muster up the energy to work on yourself or the relationship, then you are a huge reason the relationship isn’t working.”
No relationship is perfect, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t work to be top of the class. Asking for what you want and being open about your expectations can help boost a B- relationship into honor roll territory.
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