In a perfect world, we would all be Peter McCallister from “Home Alone.” We would all have grand, picturesque homes where we could celebrate the holidays with family members across the tree. Everyone, well, most everyone, would commune in perfect harmony, no one would berate each other with their politics, and the turkey would be — without a single dry sliver — decadently moist every time.
But in our version, of course, no one would leave Kevin home alone.
Unfortunately, we’re not all Kevin’s dad. Not only can most of us not afford to take our entire families to Paris, not all of us have the privilege of sharing one single holiday celebration with everyone we love, together. In fact, most of us don’t.
Regardless of your situation, whether it’s the result of divorce or marriage or something in between, racing from place to place during the holidays isn’t easy, and it’s not always fun. Take it from someone who falls on both ends of the spectrum — my parents have been divorced most of my life and, you guessed it, I’m engaged.
I thought about asking him if we could take a surprise vacation to escape the imminent ring gapes by presumptuous distant relatives, but then I remembered traveling this time of year is just as treacherous, which means both of our families will all be expecting us. Thankfully, this isn’t my first rodeo, and until human cloning is safely secured, I’ve accumulated some pretty solid best practices for holiday house hopping.